Not a Pokemon!
by PriestessOfNox
Summary: What happens when Brainiac Five ends up in the world of Pocket Monsters and one of the creatures there starts to follow him around? Possibly one of the most random crossovers ever... Possible slash if continued.
1. Chapter 1

03/07/11

Happy Birthday to me! :3

I'm Not a Pokemon!

Chapter 1

Someone – Brainy could mention no names because if he could he'd probably first get kicked out of the Legion for murder – had messed with his time bubble. No, not even messed with. To say that they had messed with it would be like saying Godzilla hadn't had a peaceful visit to Tokyo. No; they'd absolutely _massacred_ the time bubble's insides, hastily put whatever wires they could see back together, dumped in the 'extra' pieces and run for their lives before Brainy could return after making the mistake of leaving the lab.

The fifth Brainiac could only wish he had looked at the inside of the time bubble before he'd attempted to use it. Though, wishing never accomplished anything. He was stuck in some woods in some unknown time and no amount of 'what if's or murderous thoughts were going to change that.

For the first half of the day upon of his arrival at this place, Brainy had attempted to fix the time bubble. Unfortunately, along with the damage the suspect had done they had also failed to return all the crucial pieces, making the effort a waste of time.

Thankful that the time bubble could still hover above the ground, Brainy held on to the opened doorway and dragged it flying through the woods for the reminder of the day. He never found a path, other people, or even signs of sentient life. He did hear noises on occasion, but they were noises that almost sounded like attempts at humanoid speech, only proving to confuse him.

When night fell, Brainy continued dragging the time bubble until he found some bushes he could hide it in. Unfortunately for him, he couldn't spend the night in the time bubble because it was possible one of the many damages to it could cause a spark that could cause him harm, and he had no option for medical attention here.

No, Brainy was better off sleeping on the ground, and it would have to do until something better came along. At least it was a relatively nice night out; if it had looked like rain he would have taken his chances in the time bubble.

Amongst all the tools at Brainy's disposal, a spade was not one of them. So he dug a small pit with his bare hands and surrounded it with stones before venturing out to find firewood. Not wanting to venture out too far, Brainy gathered some from nearby, put them into the pit, and went out to grab some more.

When Brainy returned to his make-shift campsite there was a fire already going.

"Is someone there?" Brainy looked around but saw no one. "Hello?"

"Vulpix!"

Brainy jumped back – the noise having come from right by his feet – before he looked down. There, right in front of him, was a creature Brainy didn't have in his database of numerous worlds.

It looked similar to a fox; pointed ears, big brown eyes, light brown fur, white stomach and darker brown paws that he had heard dog or cat owners refer to as 'little booties' or 'socks' on their own pets. But this creature had six reddish brown tails that curled, with three similar curls of human-like hair on top of its head. And the sound it made was like humanoid speech, like the noises he had heard before of different varieties. Were there more creatures like this?

The creature sat before him, peering up at him, and wagged its six tails almost expectantly.

"I don't have any food for you," Brainy said slowly, feeling stupid for talking to something that couldn't possibly understand him.

"Vulpix," was all the creature replied, continuing to stare at him.

Brainy stared back for a while, trying to wrap his mind around the creature's impossible design, but eventually moved around it, placing more wood into the fire and placing some off to the side for later as he sat.

"I don't suppose you did this?"

"Vulpix."

"I had a feeling you were going to say that."

Brainy sat and contemplated his situation for a while before lying down to sleep. He was reminded of the creature's presence though when it came over and slid itself under his arm to lay on the ground, side pressed against his chest.

"Vulpix," the creature said in a way that made Brainy think of contentment.

The Coluan watched the little fox close its eyes, before sighing and doing the same. After all, there were worse things that could take a liking to him in this unknown environment. He almost wished they would all be this small and cute.


	2. Chapter 2

09/11/13

Now here's a story I never thought I'd update again. I was looking at the themes for CxB week and suddenly my brain just started screaming POKEMON, POKEMON, POKEMON! Funny how inspiration works, isn't it?

As for the Guest who said they would only continue to read this if I didn't bring in Slash I have a couple of recommendations for you; if you don't like Slash DON'T read anything I write, even the ones without slash in it, because I support same sex couples in fanfiction, fiction and reality. If you can't support that then I don't want your patronage. And DON'T try to tell authors what to write, they may do the opposite just to spite you. I have yet to decide whether or not I shall do so.

Chapter 2

Brainy awoke to the sound of people talking. Or at least he thought they were people; seeing as the sounds the fox like creature made almost sounded human there was no telling how much a similar creature could learn to say. Then again the creature only seemed to know one word while now he was hearing conversations, though he had no idea what a "pokedex" was.

As Brainy sat up and looked around the fox like creature awoke and turned until their head was resting on Brainy's lap, repeating "vulpix" in the same content way from the night before. Either it didn't hear the voices from somewhere nearby or it just didn't feel the need to worry about them.

"I'm going to try and catch it," Brainy could hear a young male voice say right before such a boy jumped out of the bushes into Brainy's little hiding place. The boy looked like a Japanese male child around the age of ten or eleven, wearing jeans a black shirt, a blue jacket with white short sleeves and collar, green fingerless gloves and a red and white baseball cap that had what looked like a green 21st century stapler.

It was a relief to encounter intelligent humanoid life; maybe this boy could show him where to find a science center or, at the least, a parts store.

Before Brainy cold great the boy a small creature came out of the bushes beside him, declaring "pika". This creature was yellow and reminded Brainy of a large Terran rabbit that could stand on its hind legs like a squirrel. Besides yellow there were red on its cheeks like a painted doll, black on the tips of its long upright ears and a tail with brown at the base that sort of looked like a lightning bolt.

Behind the boy appeared a slightly older girl with red hair, tied into a side ponytail. She had blue eyes and wore short shorts, held up by red suspenders over her yellow midriff top and holding a creature that looked like a half hatched egg.

"Be careful Ash, we don't know what kind of Pokemon that is," the girl told the boy and Brainy wondered if she was referring to his fox like creature or him.

"Just imagine if it's an undiscovered; we could be the first to see this new type of humanoid Pokemon," came a boy older than Brainy, if his height was any indication. He was tanned with short spikey brown hair and, oddly, his eyes were closed. How could he see anything like that? This older boy had brown pants, an orange T-shirt and a green vest. The boy smiled, "With its coloring I bet it's a grass type."

Considering Brainy was the only green one there he had to conclude that they were, indeed talking about him; so much for finding intelligent humanoid life.

"Now listen here," Brainy began but his words were lost when the younger boy, Ash, shouted at the yellow creature, which Brainy assumed was a Pokemon, to attack Brainy with something called a "thunder shock".

The yellow rabbit creature seemed to gather lightning in his cheeks, making Brainy imagine Lightning Lad doing the same thing, but the thought was quickly lost when the creature unleashed the lightning in Brainy's direction with the declaration of "Pikachu".

Thankfully having his belt, Brainy activated his force field which thankfully shielded him, the fox creature and the time bubble behind him. He could not vouch for the tree behind him though.

"It's strong," commented the girl and Brainy had to roll his eyes. He has used his intellect to build a device in order to protect himself; strength had nothing to with it.

The attempted attack also awoke the fox creature, which sprang to its feet and faced the yellow rat like an agitated cat, shouting variations of "vulpix" at it. Somehow it made the fox creature rather… endearing to him.

"If it's good against electricity it might be an electric type," theorized the older boy, making Brainy pinch the bridge of his nose, really the whole thing was just giving him a headache. "Try a different Pokemon."

With a nod the Japanese boy seemed to reach into a pocket and take out a small red and white ball, the size of a marble. Using his thumb he pressed a button on it and it grew bigger, a little bigger than the size of an average sized apple.

Now that was interesting. Maybe Brainy could adapt the technology to make his time bubble easier to transport?

"If you are done being stupid," Brainy began but again went unheard when Ash shouted, "Squirtle, I choose you," tossing the ball onto the ground.

The ball released a red light and the red light formed a new creature. This one looked like a blue skinned turtle, shell red and white trimmed on top with a light tan belly, red eyes and a blue curly tail.

"Squirtle, use water gun," shouted Ash.

The blue turtle, apparently called Squirtle, reeled his head back and when it moved its head forward again, water shot out of its mouth like a water hose, spraying Brainy from head to toe since he had deactivated the force field when the fox creature started verbally fighting with the yellow rat.

When the water stopped, Brainy couldn't stop himself from growling as he wiped at his face with his hands. He had essentially just been spat on! No one spat on Brainiac Five and got away with it.

As Brainy stood, the fox creature attacked Squirtle, seeming to be punching it with their paws. He would consider the slight of the turtle taken care of; his main concern was the person who had ordered the turtle to do it.

Ash took out a new red and white ball, making it grow before throwing it at Brainy's chest.

Was the boy trying to capture Brainy with the small device? How _cute_.

Brainy caught the ball with ease, clutching it so hard it sparked a bit of electricity as he glared at the humans and seethed;

"I. Am. _Not._ A. Pokemon!"


End file.
